I'm tired and I feel guilty.

I brought Marnie & Rocket back yesterday. They were for sure our cutest fosters, but also our hardest. They were potty trained which was good. Unfortunately, they did not want to be inside. Like, at all. And I will not leave pups outside. That's not how they are supposed to be and we didn't get our yard fenced in just so we could leave animals outside. HOWEVER, I let them out as often as I was comfortable. More than, really. They couldn't be in long without crying to go out. Even in the rain. It was exhausting. Especially at night. As much as I don't like them to be out much during the day, I hate it at night. The big bad dark night and all things unknown out there like boogey men and scary monsters!

No, seriously, one night, Marnie cried so much that I gave in FOUR times to getting up and letting her go out to potty. FOUR TIMES!!! It was the night before they were ready to go back and I was so. dang. ready!!!

Yet they were sweet and cute and loved to cuddle and play. They weren't used to being inside and were happier outside. It was hard for all involved, I'm afraid. They weren't unhappy, I don't think. They were just happier outside. Especially Marnie.

They were due back on my 15 year wedding anniversary. My husband very sweetly suggested that I just go up by myself and he would stay home with the toddler. The rest of the crew was at school. I'm not sure I've ever dropped pups off before alone or I just don't remember. The puppies "only" woke up to go out two times that night, but it had been raining for days and they were so muddy and wet puppy stinky. I wanted them to find a home, of course so I wanted the first impression to be great and there was a guy that wanted me to call him so he could be there when we arrived back to the rescue (they had put him in touch with me). I bathed them and put pretty kerchiefs on them, etc., etc.

And we got there and I got the crate out of my van and they heard the other dogs and they got scared. And my eyes got damp. What?! No. I was okay for these pups to be going back. It had been a long two weeks and they had been harder to deal with than babies. At least with babies, I could contain them somewhat and nurse them back to sleep! BUT my eyes got damp. I'm sure it was the rain. That must have been what made my heart twinge a little, too. I got them in and stumbled and stuttered trying to explain who I was and what I brought back. The rescue coordinator came out and knew so I was able to just give some pets and cuddles and not talk so much.

And that was my hardest fostering, in more ways than way. Good luck, sweet Marnie and Rocket. May you find your forever homes very soon.